I CAN MOONWALK!
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
