I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
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