Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
