I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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