Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
How many fucks given?
0.12846
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Randomize
