how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
