another moral hangover. fuck.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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