I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
