the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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