I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
