sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Sorry about my life...
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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