I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Randomize
