Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Randomize
