bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
