3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
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