You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
