Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Randomize
