i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
