in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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