Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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