I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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