Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
