you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
