who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Randomize
