i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
