I don't think brook has ever known best
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
