the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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