i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
