Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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