I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
