Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(440): View more from Ohio

You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back

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(281): View more from Texas

Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.

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(807): View more from Ontario

Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?

(1-807): View more from Ontario

Just flip the mattress, it erases all

(807): View more from Ontario

Done and done

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(206): View more from Washington

And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.

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(602): View more from Arizona

Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.

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(206): View more from Washington

I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.

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(727): View more from Florida

No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".

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(720): View more from Colorado

I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.

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(440): View more from Ohio

Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.

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