Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"

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(727): View more from Florida

I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.

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(336): View more from North Carolina

Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.

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(210): View more from Texas

I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.

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(330): View more from Ohio

I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential

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(303): View more from Colorado

I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.

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(419): View more from Ohio

is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.

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(218): View more from Minnesota

So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?

(612): View more from Minnesota

If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.

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(225): View more from Louisiana

I am drunk shake weighting right now.

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