You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
