i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
