So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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