I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
