he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
as a side note pls kill me
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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