is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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