I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
