she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
