Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
