I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
