Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize
