Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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