Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
