All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
