apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
