There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
