google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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