Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
zippers are such a cool invention
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
